What happens when I dare wash the towels

The boys were playing outside the other day and eventually went over to our neighbor's house. They were having fun - and were able to con a popsicle out of the other mom. (SUCKER!!!!)
They finally came home and promptly went into our room to watch something recorded.  No big deal - they were outside all day and were going to have a boys' night with Rich while I went out with friends. A little rest isn't a bad idea. Oh - this is when I told the pictures of them in the laundry baskets watching TV - yes, using our pillows. **shudder** It wasn't until I went into our room did I notice that they were beyond dirty. I am pretty sure that coalminers are cleaner than they were. NASTY!!! Timmy was especially dirty so I asked him to at least change his shirt before going out with Rich. But first . . . . the bubbles out front needed to be cleaned up. You might think you know where this is going, but you would only be partially right.
So Timmy goes out, cleans up, and comes back in. I would like to stop and savor the moment - he actually went outside and cleaned up without asking why, stomping a foot, whining, or just plain screaming "Why do I ALWAYS have to clean up? You must HATE me!!!" . . . . . I wrote it down on the calendar.
Ok, back to the story . . . . . . as he came in I noticed his shirt was soaked. Yup, he spilled bubbles ALL down the front of his shirt. *sigh* THAT load of laundry will be . . . . . sudsy. Can you say extra rinse cycle? (or two - or five) As he went upstairs to change, I reminded him that he needed to wash his nasty snot & dirt streaked face. (a lovely thought - you are welcome)
When he came back down his face was . . . . . . very slightly "cleaner". Then it dawned on me - their towels were all in the washing machine (notice dad - TWO words). Hmmmmmm, so this is the conversation that followed:
Me: Did you wash your face?
Tim: *sigh* Yes.
Me: Really?
Tim: Uh, yeah. (rolling his eyes)
Me: With what?
Tim: Ummm, a towel?
Me: Ummm, nope. They are in the laundry and I didn't hear the closet open! ((total lie))
Tim: **double sigh** I used my shirt.
Me: The one with the bubbles on it that was already dirty?
Tim: No!!! My new one! (like I was the dumbest person to ever walk the planet)
Me: *sigh* You are telling me you put on a clean shirt and then used it to wash your nasty face?
Tim: Yup! (running away laughing)

I give up.