Welcome to my blog. It has become therapy for me and I hope you laugh and cry when reading it. Why cry? Because that is what I want to do on a daily basis because I am either laughing hysterically or becuase I don't know what else to do and murder is still illegal! Enjoy!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Why me?????????????????????????

Think of the movie A Streetcar Named Desire - you know the part I am going to reference - "STELLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Brando was raw - heart wrenching . . . . think about It's A Wonderful Life when Jimmy Stewart wants his life back. Again, emotional. Bambi - do I even need to say more for that? E.T. - again, need I say more? (Well, I wish I knew about it but mom was sobbing so hard I missed the last few minutes). When the Grinch hears the Whos singing - or when Cindy Loo takes his hand . . . . .Or my personal favorite gut wrenching scene - when Kermit has to tell his friends that they are going to lose The Muppet Theatre in A Muppet Christmas Carol. It gets me every time! (a bit much?)
You get my point - there are moments in life that can really get to us and make us feel - REALLY feel - raw emotions. Well, at the tender age of eight, Andrew had his very own gut wrenching and total raw emotion moment yesterday. We were on our way to Seabreeze and, quite frankly, I don't know how he recovered from it to continue on and have a fun day. I honestly thought I was going to have to pull over so he could compose himself - or at least give him a magic mommy kiss.
I am not sure I can bear to retell the story without tearing up as well. It was tough to see my baby go through something so difficult at such a young age . . . . . . but I will try.
Here is the conversation:
Andrew: OH man!!! WHYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE????????? *groan/wince/whimper*
Me: What? Are you OK?? What is wrong?
Me: DUDE!! What is wrong?
Andrew: Why is it always me that things happen to? How come whenever we enter into a different town/city/state I ALWAYS itch????!????!!???!?!?!?!? WHY?


Me: Seriously?
Andrew: Yes!!! Seriously!! Watch - when we get into Irondequoit, I will itch . . . . .
Andrew: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As he is "proving" his point, he lightly itches his arm. Oh the horror!! The injustice!! The madness!!

And the conversation ended with me rolling my eyes.
Seriously folks, I can't make this stuff up.

Monday, August 15, 2011

What happens when I dare wash the towels

The boys were playing outside the other day and eventually went over to our neighbor's house. They were having fun - and were able to con a popsicle out of the other mom. (SUCKER!!!!)
They finally came home and promptly went into our room to watch something recorded.  No big deal - they were outside all day and were going to have a boys' night with Rich while I went out with friends. A little rest isn't a bad idea. Oh - this is when I told the pictures of them in the laundry baskets watching TV - yes, using our pillows. **shudder** It wasn't until I went into our room did I notice that they were beyond dirty. I am pretty sure that coalminers are cleaner than they were. NASTY!!! Timmy was especially dirty so I asked him to at least change his shirt before going out with Rich. But first . . . . the bubbles out front needed to be cleaned up. You might think you know where this is going, but you would only be partially right.
So Timmy goes out, cleans up, and comes back in. I would like to stop and savor the moment - he actually went outside and cleaned up without asking why, stomping a foot, whining, or just plain screaming "Why do I ALWAYS have to clean up? You must HATE me!!!" . . . . . I wrote it down on the calendar.
Ok, back to the story . . . . . . as he came in I noticed his shirt was soaked. Yup, he spilled bubbles ALL down the front of his shirt. *sigh* THAT load of laundry will be . . . . . sudsy. Can you say extra rinse cycle? (or two - or five) As he went upstairs to change, I reminded him that he needed to wash his nasty snot & dirt streaked face. (a lovely thought - you are welcome)
When he came back down his face was . . . . . . very slightly "cleaner". Then it dawned on me - their towels were all in the washing machine (notice dad - TWO words). Hmmmmmm, so this is the conversation that followed:
Me: Did you wash your face?
Tim: *sigh* Yes.
Me: Really?
Tim: Uh, yeah. (rolling his eyes)
Me: With what?
Tim: Ummm, a towel?
Me: Ummm, nope. They are in the laundry and I didn't hear the closet open! ((total lie))
Tim: **double sigh** I used my shirt.
Me: The one with the bubbles on it that was already dirty?
Tim: No!!! My new one! (like I was the dumbest person to ever walk the planet)
Me: *sigh* You are telling me you put on a clean shirt and then used it to wash your nasty face?
Tim: Yup! (running away laughing)

I give up.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Happy Birthday, Andrew!!

I was going to start out his blog with something sweet - something loving - for my first born. Then he answered the phone this way - "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!". Thankfully it was just my mom and not someone important!
Last night as I was driving him to birthday party (Happy Birthday, Jay!!!), Andrew reminded me that he gets breakfast in bed on his birthday. Huh? Since when? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yeah!!!! Since I get breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day, they figured they should get breakfast in bed on their birthday! Oh yeah – and they heard that Princess Sofia got breakfast in bed on her birthday. Thanks, Chris and Jennifer! Anyway, somehow it turned into breakfast in mom and dad’s bed so he could watch TV and lounge like a king. Originally, he was going to graciously allow Timmy to join him for breakfast. As long as Timmy sat on the floor. Wasn’t that nice of Andrew? Well, once it was changed to MY bed, I allowed Timmy to join Andrew on the bed - as long as they both had cookie trays under their breakfast plates. (Hey – I like my new quilt!) To thank me for letting him join Andrew, Tim asked where his half birthday present is. I told him he just had it – breakfast in my bed.
If you had asked me last year if he would ever be eight years old, I would have laughed. Last year was all about pushing buttons and testing limits. It was all about seeing just how far he could get with annoying his brother (and therefore us) and still live another day. Last year was all about seeing how independent he could be without buying his own house and moving out.
Wait . . . . . . that is this year, too.
And those are the reasons I love Andrew. He has ALWAYS been independent - almost to a fault. He is caring and a cuddlebug. He watches out for people that might have a harder time at things and he makes sure that they are OK. (well, except his brother – then he beats him into the ground) He finds the good in everyone and will always remember it – even if that person doesn’t deserve the second or fifth chance. He is loyal – to a fault. He is sensitive and tough at the same time. He has one of the best senses of humor I have seen - he can make me laugh with one look. He mastered sarcasm by age three. He is logical and thinks about all possible outcomes before doing something - even if it is all in his head 2.3 seconds before he does anything - and even if he KNOWS the possible outcome would mean time in his room. He is careful and cautious. He is good at anything he tries - even if it means he has to overcome his cautious nature. He is also a perfectionist – and stubborn. You would think that a cautious, stubborn perfectionist would be a terrible mix. For Andrew, it works. It makes him want to do well and try even harder at things he KNOWS he can do but might be nervous to try. He is smart, funny, stubborn, caring, sweet, funny, stubborn, adorable, stubborn . . . . .

He is Rich. He looks like Rich, walks like Rich, smiles like Rich . . . . . and I love that. I married Rich for a reason – and to have a child that is the spitting image of him makes my heart happy. I can’t wait to see Andrew grow even more and become the amazing man, husband, and father that Rich is.

Happy Birthday, Andrew!!! I love you!!!!!!

King Andrew

Friday, July 15, 2011


No, not me! Duh - I TALKED in my sleep! (shut up - all of you)
Andrew takes sleepwalking to a whole new level . . . . . . first of all, I need to say that he comes by it genetically. My brother used to walk in his sleep - he once walked into our parent's room, got a washcloth from their bathroom, and then went into their walk-in closet and fell asleep. Rich used to walk in his sleep, too. One night he almost fell into the basement of the addition that his dad was putting on the house! Thankfully my father-in-law was there - otherwise my life would be VERY different today!!
OK, back to Andrew . . . . . . . there have been a number of times when we have heard him walking around upstairs at night but never really thought much of it. He has also been known to come downstairs to our room, wake me up, mumble something (that is also something he comes by genetically), and then just head back to bed. Amusing things but nothing earth shattering.
That is until recently. The first incident happened when I was in CT for the weekend . . . . . apparently Rich woke up in the middle of the night and heard water going down the pipes. Let me just say right now - (never thought I would this) THANK GOD the pipes from the upstairs bathroom run right behind our bed. Rich kind of rolled over and assumed that one of the kids went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, he realized that he could still hear water. Hmmmmmmmmm, not that many things in our house are normal - but that certainly wasn't normal! Rich figured he should investigate. . . . . .
As he walked upstairs, he saw the bathroom light on. Then he realized that the shower was running. Yes, the shower. Hmmmm. Again, middle of the night shower - not a normal thing. After turning the light and shower off, he checked on the kids - both seemed fine and were tucked into bed and sound asleep. Hmmmmmm......
The next morning, Andrew comes down and that is when the mystery is solved!! He started laughing as he told Rich that he woke up naked with his PJs in his dirty clothes. Yes, naked. And, now, you know the rest of the story. (RIP, Paul Harvey)
Sadly, it doesn't end there. . . . . this morning Andrew came down - laughing. Yes, I immediately got scared. He said, "Mom! If it looks like I am wearing a different PJ shirt than I was last night, it's because I am!" (imagine all of that said in 1.5 seconds while laughing hysterically)
I (naturally - and hesitantly) asked why . . . .
"Because I woke up with no shirts (yes, he said shirts) on! I was confused and I looked all over my bed and my room. I couldn't find it so I said, "Forget it! I will just put a new one on!" Then I remembered that I had to pee so I went into the bathroom. That is when I looked down and saw my shirt IN THE GARBAGE!"
And, yes, that was an exact quote because I heard the story three times this morning!
The next few years scare me.
Oh - this doesn't even include the numerous times that we (meaning Rich) have run upstairs to guide the sleepy boys into the bathroom after hearing them run laps in their rooms . . . . . or the time that Rich went up and found Andrew standing at the bathroom sink with his PJ shirt around his waist. Yes - somehow he got the top of his shirt down around his waist.
Hey - at least they entertain us!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

**tapping on monitor** Hello?? Is anyone out there??

Yes, I know it has been a long time. Yes, I know I said that last time, too. And, yes, I know I said I would be updating more. Yes, apparently I lied. *hanging head in shame*

Anyway . . . . I want to wish my mom a VERY happy birthday!!! No pressure on me though for this entry. Nope, none at all! Hmmmm, maybe I need to check the laundry.
Yup, still going.
**cracking knuckles**
Tapping foot - a lot. Just to annoy mom.
Now I am drumming my fingers on the counter. To annoy mom even more. I bet dad is proud of me, though!
OK! Let's get this blog going!
Wait - was that the phone??
Nope. Doorbell?!?! Nope.
((said in my best Spongebob narrator voice)) FOUR HOURS LATER . . . . . .

Sooooooooooooooo . . . . . . .
Mom. Hmmmm, where should I start? I guess I should just start - otherwise it won't be your birthday anymore. Well, without you, I wouldn't be here. (shut up) Neither would Andrew or Timmy (big and little). So, thanks for that whole giving birth thing. And, sorry about the back labor. Want some McDonald's? I hear it's really yummy during labor . . . . .
Seriously - I can't thank you enough for all you have done for all of us. You are our rock. We know that we can call you any hour of the day or night and you will be right over. Say, for instance, at rush hour right around Thanksgiving . . . . . raw meat still grosses me out. So thanks for saving my butt with the turkey, too. I know there are other examples but we don't have enough time to list them all.
You aren't just the world to me - you are more than the world to the boys. I am pretty sure that you rank higher than I do in their world. I can only hope and dream to be half of the grandmother that you are when  my boys have kids (which won't happen for MANY MANY MANY years). In fact, they have asked me about 100 times this morning when you are coming over ..... and when they can spend the night .... and when you can grandkid sit again ...... and if Rich and I are going away so they can have REAL Nana time.
Honestly, I can only hope to be half the person you are in my life - as a friend, mother-in-law, and mom. You have more compassion and love than anyone I know. You go out of your way to see the good in people. You give people more chances to prove themselves than they deserve. You are fair - but have high expectations. For that, I am forever grateful. You have taught me how to see the other side when I think about things and people. I will never forget how involved you were in our school activities while teaching and being involved in your own school things. It's because of you that I am who I am. You opened my eyes to so many things - good, bad, funny . . . . . you helped me realize that the world is basically a good place but life isn't always pretty. No matter what has happened, you were always next to me to help me through the good and bad. And I know that you will always be next to me. There is so much more that I could say (shut up) but I think you get the idea . . . . . .  
I love you mom!!!

And I still think I should have been an only child. No guilt though!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Mom? Can you change my name?

"To farter?"


Yes, it has been a long time since I have blogged. No, nothing has changed.

Over the past couple of days Timmy has been perfecting his new art. It started with him hearing about it from someone - and what kid can resist an armpit fart (or, as they call it - armfart)? It moved to him trying it and not quite getting it. Then it progressed to him getting handfuls (yes, HANDFULS) of water to use to help him learn. I put a quick kibosh on that - after mopping up a trail of water from the sink, across the counter, to the bar stool. Then genius struck - the shower!! Yup, the shower was the perfect place to perfect the art of armpit farting! I bet the water authority will be sending us a Christmas card this year.
Now that he has gotten the hang of it, he likes to show off. A LOT. In the car the other day he was practicing and informed Rich that it was starting to smell from all of the farts. Huh? Rich kindly pointed out that armpit farts don't smell. 
DUH, dad!! "I KNOW that dad - but my armpit smells!"
Andrew is, of course, jealous. Well, for the most part. Even Andrew got annoyed the other day. I think the quote was, "Tim! You can go and armfart as much as you want as long as you aren't near me!"
So, where do we go from here with this talent? Just my luck - he is working on making up songs. I am not sure if I should be proud of his musical ability or not. Maybe hearing Star Wars on the piano 300 times a day isn't so bad after all . . . . .

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A fitting tribute for Uncle Joe

In mid-January Rich's Uncle Joe died (Joe was his mom's brother). Uncle Joe was a great man and it is a true loss for everyone - not just his family. Rich and I went down to PA for the wake and funeral . . . . we told the boys what happened and they decided to make cards for Aunt Greta and for Judy (Rich's mom). Wonderful idea!!! We were smart and had them tell us what they wanted to say on the cards and helped them write it out on scrap paper. Ha! No worries there, right? So we packed the cards and headed out after dropping the kids off at Nick and Sofia's house to catch the bus (thanks again!).
It was going to be a tough few days, but the cards would make my mother-in-law and Aunt Greta smile. We had no idea what was about to happen . . . . .  
After the the fun drive through the non-scenic Southern Tier of NY and east nowhere PA, we finally made it to Patton - just as a light snow started. What?? You have never heard of Patton, PA?!?! Were you raised under a rock? It's a thriving metrop . . . . who am I kidding? I had never heard of it either until I met Rich! It's a LITTLE town between State College and Pittsburgh. The big city near them in Altoona. I know, you are jealous that we got to go to such an exotic place!! Oh - the light snow turned into a fairly decent storm. A side note - people in PA do NOT know how to handle snow. It was amusing . . . I would like to introduce the concept of salting the roads to them. It's a new idea that just might catch on . . . .
So, we made it through the first part of calling hours - lots of family and friends to talk with and catch up with. There were tears but there were also a lot of laughs!! After the little dinner break, we headed back upstairs for round two.
I guess I should now mention that Uncle Joe was in the family business. He was a funeral home owner/director. As were his father and grandfather. His son (Joe Jr.) was also in the business for a number of years. Some cousins now own the business - including the funeral home that Uncle Joe owned. Not only did Uncle Joe own it, he lived in it. And grew up in it (as in lived in it) along with my mother-in-law. Man have we heard some stories!!! Actually, during our dinner break we got to hear some great stories from Rich's cousins about growing up in the funeral home . . . one was about the boys using a bucket to raise food to the two girls who stayed in their bedroom on the third floor during wakes - the boys decided to stay in the kitchen/basement so they had the food!
Anyway . . . back to the cards. So during the second session of calling hours we decided to give the cards to Judy and Aunt Greta. Judy was first . . . .
Timmy made a nice card with this message: "I am sorry Uncle Joe died."
Simple and to the point . . . . I guess - but not quite what we thought he was going to write. Typical Timmy.
Then came Andrew's card . . . . .

Yes, those are pop-up gravestones.
Yes, I wanted to crawl into a cave far far away. My son made a sympathy card for his grandmother with pop-up gravestones. Thank GOD Judy found the humor and laughed. To his credit, he did work really hard on this and it is . . . . original. The funniest thing is that Rich put the card in his suit coat packet and forgot to give it back to his mom. The next day Judy was very worried because she couldn't find the card and was VERY happy that we had it . . . and she made sure to get it back!

But wait - my heart (along with Rich's heart) skipped a beat or three . . . what the heck did he do for Aunt Greta?????
We nervously walked over to her and gave her the cards. Timmy's was cute and he said something about how he loved her. Then she opened Andrew's card. I was scared to look. My palms were starting to sweat. I think Rich was a little pale . . . .
She pulled the card out ..... no obvious cutting . . . .
A HUGE sigh of relief!!! A big heart on the outside . . . on the inside he wrote that he loved her!
We could relax. Then we decided to allow others to enjoy the gravestone card. We showed it to Rich's cousins and their kids. Everyone laughed - a lot. It was the perfect way for them to see Andrew's personality and for him to make people laugh when it was really needed. And he did it without even being there!! And more importantly, it was the perfect tribute to Uncle Joe.
The rest of the evening was wonderful - the firemen and Vets were there and it was beautiful. The funeral the next day was extremely moving and the graveside military service was beyond beautiful. Even the snowstorm was funny in an odd way - Uncle Joe HATED snow. BUT . . . . there was a snow day for his grandchildren so they didn't miss school and their perfect attendance record wasn't in danger!
It was obvious that Uncle Joe was an amazing man and that he was loved by everyone that ever met him. I am lucky that I got to see him a few times and I treasure those memories. He is missed but his love continues through his family!! He brought everyone together and we were able to reconnect with family. I look forward to visits from cousins and to invading some cousins on our way to Florida (watch out Jeff and Laraine!).
And yes, we are planning a trip to east nowhere PA to visit Aunt Greta and Sally this summer - with the boys so they can have the pleasure of making Aunt Greta laugh in person!!!